The Way To A Man's Heart
by SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot
Summary: Ficlet: Kurt had a bad day and compensated by overeating. Blaine's the world's best boyfriend with the world's worst jokes. Pointless snuggle fic.


**Mostly just wrote this because I wanted to write _something. _Take this as a reminder that I'm always open for prompts, though I reserve the right to refuse them if I don't think I can do them justice.**

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Blaine walked into the loft one afternoon to see the TV blaring an episode of _The Bachelor _to an apparently empty living room. "Kurt?" he called out, confused. Kurt hadn't been scheduled to work that day, so he got to come home after his morning dance class finished while Blaine was stuck doing a lunch shift at the diner, but they'd made plans to relax for a while before Santana and Rachel got home from their dinner shifts.

A distressed groan from their bedroom informed Blaine of where his fiance had gotten to. "Blaine. Hi. Kill me," Kurt said once Blaine got into their room. He was flopped belly-down on the bed, head lifted just enough to not muffle his words into their comforter and feet dangling off the far side.

"Uh, no, thanks, I'd rather not," Blaine said, walking over and taking a seat next to Kurt's torso. He started rubbing over Kurt's back, smiling a little when Kurt practically melted under his hands. "What's up?"

"Cassie totally chewed me out in front of the entire class for having 'the worst turnout in the history of dance' today," Kurt said, rolling on his side to face Blaine and frowning as he air-quoted her exact words. "So I came home and tried to drown my sorrows with cheesecake from that new bakery down the street and bad reality TV, but now I've eaten so much that I don't want to move and my pants are hurting me. You wouldn't believe the amount of effort it took me to even get into our room."

"Would you like me to write Cassie a strongly-worded letter informing her of how wrong she is?" Blaine asked, hoping to get Kurt to crack a smile. "I could break out my fancy prep school vocabulary words again, see if I still remember how to use them. McKinley may have permanently dulled my ability to use words longer than three syllables." Kurt finally smiled at that, causing Blaine to break into a pleased grin of his own.

"I appreciate the offer, B, but I think Cassie would probably try to snap one of your hamstrings if you tried that," Kurt said. "Your vocabulary will have to find another way to escape the damage from the Ohio public school system."

"Darn it," Blaine said, snapping his fingers in mock disappointment. "I guess I'll be forced to only use the words 'dude,' 'sucks,' and 'awesome' in all of my future conversations."

"Well, I do love it when you talk fratty," Kurt said, winking at Blaine. He pushed himself upright and leaned in for a kiss, but quickly broke away, saying, "Ow. Shit, of course it even hurts to lean in and kiss my fiance. That's just the kind of day I'm having."

"How about I help you locate some sweatpants and a big hoodie and then cue up _Les Mis _on Netflix so we can cry over other people's problems?" Blaine asked, rubbing soothingly over Kurt's stomach.

"You're my favorite boyfriend, B," Kurt said, looking ecstatic. "Even if you only suggested _Les Mis _so you can drool over Hugh Jackman like I know you want to."

"I'll leave you here to suffer," Blaine said teasingly, making to stand up.

"Wait no Blaine honey I love you please don't leave me here to die," Kurt said in one breath, grabbing onto Blaine's wrist for dear life.

"You're lucky you're cute," Blaine joked, kissing Kurt on the forehead before getting up and rummaging through their closet for their comfiest clothes. He tossed Kurt some yoga pants and his own old Warblers hoodie, keeping Kurt's Titans Football sweatshirt for himself. "Think that'll help?"

"Oh my God yes," Kurt said, nuzzling the side of his cheek into Blaine's sweatshirt. "You've broken in this hoodie to perfection and now that you've given it to me I might never give it back."

"I'll add that to the list of things you've stolen from me, right below 'my heart,'" Blaine said, smiling wide.

"If I had the energy, I'd come over there and smack you for that," Kurt said, pushing himself to his feet. "As it stands, it's gonna be a struggle for me to even get these pants on."

"I'd offer to help you, but then we'd never get around to actually seeing the movie, and since watching it with Santana and Rachel would only end in defenestration, I think I'm gonna let you get dressed in peace while I pull up Netflix," Blaine said, heading for the doorway.

"Nice vocab word, B," Kurt said before Blaine left. "McKinley didn't totally destroy you after all."

"It's the power of Hugh Jackman's voice," Blaine said, dodging the throw pillow Kurt chucked after him through the open curtain. "I love you!" he called out in apology.

"I love you too, asshole. Now go turn on the movie, and maybe pull that ice cream out of the freezer. I think I'm getting a second wind."


End file.
